My Weblog

I take it back

Now that time is approaching for my two oldest sons to return to college for the fall semester, I take back what I said in the last post. I SO don't want them to leave. I don't think I've updated at all about Clemson since our first visit there. Both Ben and Jordan were accepted to Clemson as transfer students. They will begin classes on August 22nd. There was no available on-campus housing so we've located an apartment a couple of miles from the university. It's always hard to have them leave after they've been home but this time will be even more difficult. They will be 750 miles from home. I know that's better than several thousand miles away but still...it takes 13 hours to drive there. They will most likely fly home a couple of times during the semester for a long weekend. And then there's Christmas break which will be almost a month long. If I look at it that way I can feel pretty good about it. I'll end up seeing them about as much as I did when they were only a couple of hours away. But, that's not how I'm looking at it. What if they need something? What if they get sick? My "what ifs" make up a long list with each one being followed by, "and I'm 13-hours away?" In my head I know they will be fine. In my heart I'm not so sure I'll be fine. I love them more than words can express and despite my last post, I greatly enjoy spending time with them.

I'm going to spend the next week telling myself that everything will be fine. And then on August 22nd I'll spend 13-hours leaving a trail of tears 750 miles long. Do me a favor, next summer when I complain about the level of activity at my house, remind me of this post.   

They were right

I've struggled a lot in the past with worries regarding my parenting. I know that's nothing abnormal...most parents go through the very same thing. I remember being pregnant the first time and thinking, "how will I ever do this?" I had no idea how to be a parent. People would tell me not to worry because in no time at all I would feel as if I'd been parenting forever. I thought they were crazy but they were right.

When it came time to send our oldest off to college, I was a mess. "How would I ever be able to let go?" "How would he manage without me?" People would tell me not to worry because in no time at all I would realize that he was fine and that having him leave home was a very good thing for both of us. I thought they were crazy but they were right.

When our second son left for college I was sad. My nest was getting emptier. "What will I do once they're all gone?" "How will I occupy my time?" People told me not to worry because the day would come when even though I would continue to love them dearly, I would actually look forward to them returning to college for the fall semester. I thought they were crazy but guess what? Last week when I couldn't sleep due to the constant flow of young adults through my house I finally realized that...

THEY WERE RIGHT!

He did it!

Jeff competed in his first triathlon yesterday. The experience itself and Jeff were both amazing. The swimming portion of the race occurred in Lake Ontario where the waves were 2-4 feet. It was frightening to watch and from Jeff's report, even more frightening to experience first hand. Unfortunately Jordan wasn't able to compete this time. Last month while bike riding, he had an accident. The accident led to surgery and a very large pin protruding from his thumb. He was extremely disappointed about being sidelined for a while. The pin came out last week and he's back training now. They hope to do another race early this fall. I'm hoping to get in on the action as well either this fall or next summer.

Here's a picture of the big finish.

Congratulations to my Triathlete!

A pathetic cheerleader

Jeff and Jordan are training for a triathlon. The nice thing for me is that as a result I've increased my level of exercise. I'm running farther and faster and working harder on strength training. The bad thing is that triathlon training can become all consuming. I completely support Jeff and Jordan and actually I hope to do my first triathlon next year. However, I think I'm beginning to falter a little in my supportive wife/mother role. The training, the reading, the supplements, the wetsuits, the equipment for the bike, the...the list goes on and on. This morning Jeff sent me an instant message to tell me that he was going to go swimming. Usually I say nice things like, "Good luck!" or "Swim hard and fast!" This morning my only words were, "Don't drown." I think I need to work a little harder on this cheerleading thing.

My formal husband

Below is a snippet from an IM conversation Jeff and I had this afternoon. He was frustrated with Enterprise Car Rentals. Jeff actually works in Herndon, VA. Some weeks he can work from home, other weeks he spends Monday through Friday in Herndon. This is one of his Herndon weeks. With the kids home from college we're juggling cars so Jeff was attempting to rent a car today. He was all set and then the local Enterprise dealer called to tell him that he made a mistake and they didn't have any cars available. Here's the conversation...

Jeff: i'm calling Enterprise now to complain

Jeff: makes me mad that they would promise to have a
vehicle and then not deliver...I'm on the phone w/ them now

Jeff: i just have to work thru this mentally... i'm
letting go.. just takes me a little "battling" 1st

Deb: well go ahead and battle...maybe you'll get a free
rental out of it

Deb: or a free heart attack

Jeff: LOL

Jeff: there.. she's making a formal complaint

Deb: formal complaint...hmmm

Deb: those two words sound so good together

Deb: I hate informal complaints

Jeff: LOL

Deb: if you're going to complain, it may as well be formal

Jeff: ohh... definitely formal w/ a tux

Deb: yes

Jeff: I want an entire red carpet affair

Deb: ok

Deb: Well, I'm going to go for my walk. I'll see you shortly

Deb: love you!

Jeff: ok - sounds good - I love you too!!!

Deb: bye

Jeff: bye

Jeff: lover!!!

Jeff: formal lover!!!

Deb: bye husband

Deb: formal husband

A love like that

I spend a lot of time in the cemetery. I know that sounds morbid but it's not. The cemetery here is beautiful. It's a wonderful place to walk and run. I've written a few things in the past about my cemetery experiences. I've learned so much about life in a place that seems more connected to death. Something happened there last week that I've been thinking about ever since.

During my lunch break last Tuesday I decided to take a walk in the cemetery. As I rounded one of the corners I noticed a very elderly woman using a rake and a hoe to work on the yard that surrounded one of the graves. As I got closer to her, I could see that she had tears running down her cheeks. She looked at me and made a comment about the beautiful weather. I agreed and then for some reason asked her if it was her husband's grave that she was working around. Her face lit up and she replied, "Yes. I always take time to make sure things are nice here for him." Her tears told me that her love was deep and that the pain was still very real. I told her how wonderful I thought her actions were and then we parted ways. As I walked I said a little prayer for her. I assumed that his death couldn't have been that long ago since she was so diligent in caring for the plot. When I began my second lap around the cemetery the woman was gone so I decided to take a closer look at her husband's headstone. I was shocked when I read the year that he died. 1964. For 43-years this woman has been meticulously caring for her husband's burial plot. I would imagine that means 43-years of missing him and 43-years of tears flowing down her cheeks when certain thoughts about him enter her mind. How wonderful to love and to be loved like that.

Over the past week, every time I've thought about my cemetery encounter I've found myself feeling incredibly blessed. I feel blessed because I met this woman and because I have a lot in common with her husband. You see, I know what it is to be loved like that. For the past 22-years I have been cared for by a man who has worked hard to make sure things were always okay for me even during those times when I was far from alive. I'm so very fortunate and thankful.

I hope you're able to say the same...that you've known a love like that. If not, get out and take a walk. You never know where love may find you. I highly recommend the cemetery.

    

We ♥ Clemson University

We're home and did we ever LOVE Clemson University! My two older boys, Ben and Jordan, are applying to transfer there as is Jordan's girlfriend. Jacob and Sam will be seniors next  year. I know Jacob is very intersted in Clemson and I'm fairly confident Sam would love it as well. She didn't go with us to visit. We need to get her down there. A few minutes after walking on campus I was ready to see if they had any jobs I could apply for. Jeff was very enthusiastic as well. Now, when it comes to moving I'm usually much more talk than action. The thought of packing up and leaving Wellsboro behind has always been a terrifying thought for me but the winds of change may be beginning to blow...or at least stir. A little.

   

South Carolina bound

We're on our way to South Carolina for the weekend. My son Jordan and his girlfriend are interested in transferring to Clemson University so we're going down to check it out. I'm looking forward to checking out a little bit of this:

If you live near Clemson and want to have lunch, let me know!

The birthday that just may kill me

Tomorrow morning I'll be heading out of town for back to back, work related meetings. I'll be returning on Thursday. Tuesday is my birthday and since I'll be gone, Jeff decided to celebrate it today. If you've been stopping by here for a while you'll know that I have lovingly referred to Jeff as "Chef Jeff" before. (If you're new, you can read a little bit about Chef Jeff here and here.) Jeff's cooking has been very good over the past several months. Very, very good! His specialty is Florentine Meatballs so for my birthday I asked him to make some for me. He was more than happy to oblige.

This afternoon while Jeff was cooking, I sat in the family room and loaded some new music on my MP3 player. It didn't take long before I could smell the wonderful aroma of the meatballs wafting through the house. While the meatballs were baking Jeff came in the family room to join me. Before sitting down he took the dog outside for a few minutes. When he came back inside he had a look of concern on his face as he slowly held up his left hand. "I lost my wedding ring" he said. "It must have come off when I threw a snow ball for the dog to chase." I offered some encouraging words (okay..well, maybe they weren't all that encouraging) and told him that hopefully we will be able to find it when the snow melts. We sat together in silence for a few minutes. I could tell Jeff was thinking about something. The silence was broken when he looked at me and said, "Well, I HOPE it came off when I was outside because I was just thinking that there's a good chance it might be in the meatballs."

We're just getting ready to sit down and eat. Hopefully I'll live to see 43 on Tuesday.

Sawyer...consider yourself warned

Jeff and I will celebrate our 22nd anniversary this year. We dated for 2 years before we were married which means that for the past 24 years Jeff has been trying to "get" me. Not "get" as in understand (I don't know if that task is possible) but "get" as in trick, fool, pull one over on, etc. 24 years of trying without success. Until today. Today he really got me. I won't go into to all the details but I will tell you that at 5:00 p.m. today I was putting on my shoes to go to the police station. The POLICE STATION! I was shaking and sick to my stomach. Little did I know that I had been had. It's 2 hours later and I'm still shaking. So Jeff, be warned - your day is coming. I promise to document it well with video and photos so I can share it here with all my friends. Oh and one more thing...you can be assured that it won't take me 24 years to taste the sweet victory of success.

P.S. I love you...you bad, bad man.